7 ways in which misogynists contradict themselves.

Monica S
9 min readFeb 18, 2024

Misogyny is still ever present in modern society and is frighteningly more radical than ever before with the rise of openly and unapologetically misogynistic viral influencers such as Andrew Tate. Medium especially seems to be a cesspit of bitter misogynists and incels that blame all of their problems on modern women. Women who are independent, successful and don’t wish to abide by oppressive patriarchal traditions are seen as a threat to these men.

These men claim that they want chaste and traditional women who will take care of them. The truth is that subconsciously they despise these so called “ideal” women too. Misogynists blame all of their problems on women in general whether they’re modern or traditional (though their anger is mainly directed at modern independent women), from lack of dating success to feeling emasculated. It’s all us women’s fault. Until misogynists deal with their deep rooted hatred for women, they will never deal with the issues that they blame women for. Here are the ways in which misogynists contradict themselves.

1. They despise independent women that earn their own money but accuse women of being gold-diggers.

Ok so you don’t like women who have careers and are successful because they emasculate you and make you feel like “less of a man”, but you rage about the women who expect you to pick up the tab for each date and expect you to pay for everything.

Since misogynists see traditional women as ideal, “traditional women” don’t have their own income or money. Independent women who have their own money don’t expect men to foot the bill every time and can pay for their own stuff. Women who have a traditional mindset expect men to pay for everything and constantly bestow gifts upon them.

Misogynists vent about being fed up of having to pay for women and moan that women only use them for their money. Misogynists you want tradition, yet you can’t deal with the less ideal aspects of it. You don’t want your woman to work but you become overwhelmed by the financial pressure to support her and your offspring. You come home from work and take your stress out on your woman. You hate it that she puts pressure on you to provide.

Remember you felt emasculated by women who work and are successful. Now you feel emasculated that you can’t provide enough. It’s obvious that the problem is you misogynistic men.

2. You can’t stand women with a high body count but are frustrated with a chaste and less sexual woman.

Misogynistic men see sexually emancipated women as dirty, immoral and untamed (despite these misogynistic men not applying these standards to themselves- if anything the more sexual partners the more of a “man” they feel they are). Sexually liberated women also pose a threat to misogynists because they have experience. They know what is good sex and what is bad sex. They’re in tune with their needs and don’t want sex with men who are selfish in bed. Less sexually experienced women have little or no comparison and are not self aware of their bodies and needs due to lack of experience.

Of course misogynists are rubbish and selfish in bed. Sex is all about their own self pleasure. They sexualize and desire these chaste women, hoping they’ll be freaks between the sheets, but of course that’s not how it works. Women who want to save themselves for marriage or are not very open sexually, are less likely to be very sexual especially due to toxic beliefs of shame around sex. These men get frustrated and angry when they don’t put out easily or aren’t enthusiastic about sex (it also could be that they don’t want sex because the misogynistic man is so selfish in bed). These misogynistic men then turn to the women they despise- the “whores”, the “sluts” to fulfill their sexual needs.

3. They want a submissive woman only to get fed up with her “lack of intelligence”.

Misogynists hate women that have their own mind and opinions. They want to completely control a woman. They pretty much want a master/slave dynamic. It’s all hunky dory until they get fed up of being in the company of a woman with no opinions or ideas of her own. The misogynist rages that all women are dumb and unintelligent. At first they find this endearing but then it annoys them. A big part of being in a relationship is having good conversations and things in common. Somebody who is pathologically submissive isn’t going to stimulate you.

My narcissistic ex was extremely misogynistic and raged about how stupid and absent minded all women were despite wanting a submissive woman (which I wasn’t willing to be). My blonde moments (and very bad dyspraxia) certainly irritated him. They don’t want opinionated and intellectual women (my ex hated that I was opinionated and had my own mind), but they get irritated by “stupid” women with no opinions. They claim that they can’t stand women that can’t hold a conversation but get annoyed when they can. Make up your mind FFS!!

4. They want a woman to take care of them and their offspring only to become resentful when she’s consumed by child care.

Misogynists want to spread their seed and of course the woman is expected to raise their offspring. Only they can’t stand it once the children become the priority. They hate that she’s too exhausted to serve them, have sex and take care of her appearance. Of course if the misogynistic man was much of a man, he’d actually help out with childcare or at least hire help so that the woman can rest and put herself first. Of course a misogynist doesn’t want a woman to put herself first, but they’re too stupid to realize that when a woman puts herself first, she functions better and takes better care of herself.

A woman putting herself first is deeply unattractive to him. It’s ok though because the “sluts” and “whores” will give him the attention, sex and ego massage that he badly craves.

5. They want a devoted and dependent women but can’t stand her neediness.

Misogynistic men can’t stand independent women that have their own friends, hobbies and interests outside of a relationship. They want to be the sole focus. Only these are the kind of guys that complain about how needy and clingy a woman is when she devotes herself to him and demands all of his attention. Of course these men are like cats; they want attention and affection on their own terms. I mean this with no disrespect towards cats whatsoever! I love cats and have two of my own (one who is a very typical cat and the other is like a dog and constantly wants my attention).

When these guys want space, they will create all the space they want and expect the woman to leave them alone, but when he wants her attention, she has to run to him like a dog.

6. They want an ultra feminine woman only they hate when she acts like a woman.

Of course femininity is a broad spectrum, but they want a big breasted woman with an hourglass figure who is slim, with long hair, wears pretty dresses, cooks, and is super sweet and soft etc. You catch my drift. With that they expect traditional feminine behavior such as submissiveness and softness.

Only they can’t stand when women cry, have PMT or feel emotional. “All that emotional stuff” irritates them and only deepens their anger and disdain towards women. Misogynists believe that emotions make women incapable of most things and points to their lack of intelligence because they are “too emotional to understand logic.” They can’t handle it when a woman isn’t all smiles and sunshine all the time.

He doesn’t want to be associated with any of her ultra feminine interests either such as shopping and romantic movies because it makes him feel emasculated. He even feels emasculated when he has to hold his woman’s purse whilst she puts on her coat.

He hates women that have “manly” interests like football and cars because she’s not feminine enough and they don’t want a wife who is “one of the guys.” No wonder the misogynistic man gets fed up with the “ultra feminine” woman as they have nothing in common. He doesn’t want to show any interest in her hobbies nor does he want her to show interest in his hobbies either. If anything he wants her to serve him beer and snacks whilst he watches sport on TV.

7. They want a natural looking woman but don’t like natural parts of womanhood like post partum bodies and ageing.

Misogynists like natural- to a point. “Natural” for them is big boobs, slim with a natural hourglass figure and pretty (with little to no make-up). They want a wholesome woman; a woman who is not too overtly sexual. They don’t want women who embrace their sexuality and show off their bodies because “they’re sluts that provoke attention from other men.” These women are ok for a one night stand though.

The misogynist however doesn’t like natural when it comes to changing bodies due to having children and ageing. They hate not being the ones in control of a woman’s body. That’s when they pressure their woman to get back into shape after giving birth. Their heads start to turn once she’s no longer in her “prime”. Many of them eventually trade their wife in for a younger woman. For the misogynist, a woman is merely an object. Her personality and qualities outside of serving the man don’t matter.

As you can clearly see, misogynists have zero respect for any woman- even the women they claim to be “ideal” end up disappointing them. In their eyes a woman is nothing more than an object to serve men. There are two types of women in the misogynist’s eyes- the “whores” and “sluts” to fuck, and the “wholesome” homemaker to wait on them hand and foot in the home. The woman is always to blame for their problems.

Many misogynists will of course deny their misogyny. If they truly loved women they would support their successes and equality, and not disqualify them as not worthy due to unreasonable criteria such as body count. It’s 2024 and it’s frightening that misogynists have a platform and that governments and wider society aren’t doing anything to address this problem. Parents have the duty to educate their sons to respect women and not fall prey to social media brainwashing. Misogynistic influencers like Andrew Tate should be banned on all social media platforms. Educational institutions should bring awareness to unfair double standards. There need to be positive male role models in the media that respect women and campaign for women’s equality. Men need to do the work. We live in a world filled with hatred and extremism. Brainwashing by social media, lack of positive role models and lack of education and critical thinking create aggression, hate and extremism. Its time to change and create a fairer world for our daughters and sons.



Monica S

I love writing. I may be controversial but I'm not afraid to say it how it is.