Being in a loving relationship with a man who cares about my pleasure has made me realise that there’s a big pleasure gap between men and women.

I lost my virginity at 18 and have had various sexual partners, but I only had my first orgasm recently at the age of 32. I call it my orgasmginity. To me that was a bigger deal than losing my actual virginity. Since I’ve been with my boyfriend, I’ve had multiple orgasms.

Before I had an orgasm, I never thought that I would actually ever have one. Being a long term user of anti-depressants, I accepted the fact that I might not ever experience an orgasm. Anti-depressants can cause problems with achieving an orgasm, but for me coming off them and worsening my mental health worried me more than inability to orgasm. Now I realise that it wasn’t the anti-depressants that were to blame, it was the guys I had been with.

I’ve never been one for masturbation. I never saw anything wrong with it but the idea didn’t do much for me. Vibrators and dildos never appealed to me. I wanted the real thing. There are many women who are judgemental towards woman that don’t masturbate; seeing us as some kind of freaks because we don’t succumb to the magic of the vibrator. Everyone is different and there’s no shame in whichever way you like to experience pleasure.