How to break free from the toxicity of social media.
Social media is omnipresent in many people’s lives and impacts us more than we realise. Scrolling and posting have become as vital to daily function as brushing your teeth or drinking water. Whilst social media can be positive (it can connect people and content can be tailored to personal interests), it also has many negative consequences, such as a profound impact on mental health.
Social media leads many people to compare themselves to others and feel inadequate. Who wouldn’t feel depressed looking at content of influencers looking flawless and jet-setting to exotic locations across the world?
Before you feel depressed about not looking like a model and modest budget staycations, not everything you see on social media is real. It’s expertly curated to seem like the person is living an incredible life, but it doesn’t mean that it’s the truth.
Even influencers who try to post real and relatable content probably aren’t very happy with their lives either, thus the constant need to share every aspect of their lives.
If social media is making you depressed, this is the article for you. Here are some tips to break free from social media and feel good about yourself and your life.
1. Limit usage and reassess the content that you follow.
Completely deleting social media accounts isn’t a realistic solution for many as it can make people feel completely disconnected and miss out on any positive aspects that social media does bring (like cat videos).
You can set time limits on many social media platforms in order to control your usage. Also, reassess what kind of content triggers you and what content makes you feel positive. Unfollow accounts that make you feel low, such as influencers who boast about their affluent lifestyles and picture perfect relationships.
Follow the accounts that make you smile and laugh or teach you something useful like heart-warming animal videos, comedy accounts, or learning based content such as language learning or ideas for new recipes if that’s what you’re interested in.
Follow content that inspires you and adds to your life, not content that impacts your mental health in a negative way.
2. Focus on the positive aspects of your life.
Unfortunately, social media can make you feel that your life is dull and unexciting and that you’re not good enough. However, behind the seemingly glamorous and perfect facade, these influencers have their own insecurities and issues.
Many of these influencers live for social media because their lives are empty and superficial. Does someone who is really happy within themselves and enjoying their life constantly post and brag about their lifestyle? No, because they’re out there having meaningful interactions and experiences without looking for validation.
Influencers often carefully curate their lives. Just because their lives seem great doesn’t mean that they are. Maybe they’re lonely and depressed. Maybe they have no real friends or their relationship isn’t as great as it seems.
Value the things that are real and valuable in your life. Ask yourself what’s good about your life. Do you have supportive and loving friends, family, or pets who are always there for you? Are you in a loving and healthy relationship? Do you do the things that you enjoy and that fulfil you? What things are you fortunate for? Think about what you do have rather than what you don’t have.
I used to feel low because I felt that other people travelled more than me, were more attractive, and more successful. I realised that my journey is unique and that life isn’t a competition. My travel experiences are my own, and I have the rest of my life to travel and achieve my goals. I also realised that success is subjective. I’ve done things that others haven’t such as publish a book. I write a blog which has many readers.
I may not be the best-looking person, but do looks really matter that much? My fiancé finds me attractive and loves me how I am, and that matters more to me than the approval of strangers. I’m so lucky to have an incredible fiancé and loving family, friends, and a loving and loyal cat.
3. Value your privacy.
Social media has led to the disintegration of privacy, whereby people openly share the most private and intimate aspects of their lives. Why do people post constantly about their lives from the most mundane to the most intimate? Well it’s all about receiving validation and trying to compensate for lack of meaningful connections in reality.
Is the message that you’re putting out on social media meaningful, or are you looking for validation? Are you lonely and want a way to reach out to people? Social media is the wrong way to do it.
Oversharing can make you vulnerable to online predators. Some men especially can use a woman’s vulnerability and lack of privacy to get closer to her. People on social media don’t always have your best interests at heart.
There are moments in life that are more meaningful when they’re private. Why should people have or deserve access to every part of your life, whether special or mundane? Once you give people access to your life, they will become very nosy and think that they have the right to know your business.
I like to live my life for myself and keep some mystery. We all know that lack of privacy can lead to friction and poorer quality relationships. It can also mean that you don’t truly relish life’s small and big pleasures because you’re more concerned with the approval of others.
Privacy is a privilege. It means time away from the scrutiny of others. You can truly be yourself and let go. Give yourself the gift of enjoying life without the judgement or validation of others. Live your life in the moment and savour those memories. Keep them for you and your loved ones. Whilst there’s nothing wrong with sharing the occasional moments, keep a lid on what you do share. Also, ask yourself what the point of you sharing specific content is.
4. Remind yourself that not everything you see online is reality.
It’s easy to be fooled into thinking that influencers and other people that you follow are leading incredible lives. I used to feel envious, but now I feel sorry for many influencers. Much of their life is putting on a show for other people. If they had better quality friendships and relationships, they probably wouldn’t feel the need to constantly show off online.
Whilst for some it’s a job, it can be a very superficial job and one that spills over into your personal life. Just because you see people posing in exotic destinations, showing off their “ideal” bodies, or posing loved up selfies with their other half, it doesn’t mean that they’re happy or fulfilled.
I don’t follow people who are toxic and make me feel low about myself. I follow accounts that suit my interests, and I like to see what my genuine friends are up to.
5. Meet people in real life.
Whilst social media might make us feel more connected to our friends, it can also make us feel more lonely. People interact with one another less in reality because they can see what they’re up to on social media.
There’s nothing like a good catch up with a friend and genuinely sharing. There’s nothing like a friend who knows the real you and not a version of you that strangers and acquaintances see.
In the past, I used social media when I felt at my lowest, hoping to connect with others. Whilst some people did reach out to me, what I really needed was face to face interaction. Hanging out in person is far more meaningful than likes and comments on social media, even if they are well meaning.
It’s hard to find the time to meet friends unfortunately as many of us lead busy lives, but as long as you keep in touch outside of social media platforms, even that’s better than getting a few likes on social media.
If it’s hard to meet friends, why not join local interest groups where you know that people will have time? Meet Up is a great site to find mutual interest groups in your area. Whether it’s brushing up on a language or joining a sport, it’s a great way to connect with others and feel less alone.
6. Find some hobbies.
Social media often takes time away from enriching and mindful activities. If you’re already a procrastinator, social media is your worst enemy. Put your phone away or log out of social media and explore new hobbies. Social media rewires the brain so that you find it hard to focus or find motivation to do much other than scrolling.
Break the habit and motivate yourself to do something more stimulating and productive. Getting started is often the hardest part, but once you start, you’ll find it hard to stop. Hobbies are a fantastic outlet for creativity and making social connections. It can be good to combine both.
Set yourself a goal to pick up the hobbies you’ve always wanted to do but never got round to. Always fancied learning Spanish? Sign up for classes. Always wanted to learn video editing skills? You can sign up for a course or watch tutorials online.
Hobbies will do far more for you than social media. You’ll learn new skills or improve existing ones. You can make new friends or use hobbies as an opportunity to connect with old friends. You can unleash your creativity. Also some of these skills can translate into job skills and are something you can put on your CV. What can social media do for you? The answer is nothing apart from waste time and rot your brain.
If you’re looking to cut down on your social media usage, I hope that these tips work for you. Social media can be extremely toxic, but it is possible to release yourself from its grip.
What do you find the most toxic about social media? Can you recommend any other tips to break free from social media? Let me know in the comments.
