Reasons why marriage is an outdated institution that doesn’t benefit most people.

Marriage is an outdated societal milestone that is still subconsciously ingrained and coveted in modern society. Does marriage still serve a purpose in the 21st century and should there be an alternative way for partners to cement their love and deepen their commitment to one another? A question I ask myself is whether marriage is even necessary.

Traditionally and historically marriage was an institution that trapped women and only served to benefit men. Marriage served as a transaction; financially and in terms of passing over “property”. A woman went from being her father’s property to her husband’s property. Her husband would “own” her and be in control of all of the money and assets.

Whilst not all husbands saw their wives as property and did marry for love, unfortunately many men did use marriage to their advantage and to control women. Thankfully, in western society although marriage is no longer about controlling women or seeing them as property, there are still remnants of the sexist and outdated notions that continue to linger from societal validation to women still being expected to change their name when they marry.

Marriage does have a deep meaning for some people. Getting married can deepen their bond and affection for one another and make them feel unified. Also for religious people, marriage is a vital component and instruction in their religion. For most religious people it is important for God to bear witness to their commitment to one another. Having said that I believe in God, but I don’t believe that I need to prove my love and commitment to my partner as if God is already all knowing and omnipresent, they can already see the love and commitment me and and my partner have for one another.

I am Jewish and I believe in God, but I don’t see marriage as important which is deeply ironic as marriage is imperative in Judaism just as it is in most other major religions. I am a conservative/reform Jew which means that we don’t blindly follow tradition and are even allowed to question it. That’s what I love about Progressive Judaism and being a Progressive Jew.

Eschewing marriage does not make me less committed to Judaism. Marriage after all is not exclusive to just Judaism…